no pain, no gain

So…where do I begin… i just read one of those old entries, where I mention the end and the beginning, because they are all the same… I end where you begin.

And so I build this tower, then I get inside of it, and I walk its long steps, its turns, and its dark halls. I take a pick through one of the few windows I gave it, I feel like getting a little light on my face, feel the breeze from the outside…

Where do I begin? Where is the end? Where do we find that things will have their own place?

Tears roll down my face and I don’t even know why…I have lost something and my empty chest feels the weight of the void, as paradoxical this may sound, it is really a terrible weight to feel this enormous emptiness.

Saying goodbye sometimes is quite hard, not because we know it is the last time we will see each other, but more because we know how long the wait will be till we meet again.

I have been looking for this reality that bites me, I know it is time, yet I am not really ready, because I do not want to cause anybody any pain, and yet, I am in pain, I am already in so much pain.

I really think that we owe to learn to walk more lightly, only carry the necessary, only give what is a pleasure to give, and only take what is given to us, and never ever feel trap in the middle of all this giving and taking, all this giving and receiving; we owe to learn to accept that love may end, and that it is ok if that may happen.

We many times fall in love and don’t even know why…so we start giving this many explanations to what it’s inexplicable…. I can hear my voice that says I love you because of your eyes and the truth behind them…but really, I know that I love you because you are you.

And that is the only necessary knowledge, no explanations needed.

Tears keep rolling down, but now there is this sound that dances with them, and as I cry no longer in silence, my voice becomes unbearable, and I know then that it must be the end coming, getting here, and that I will have to learn to accept it, just as I accept the love, the silence, the rain, the sun, the breeze in my face.

Where do I end? Where you begin, that is where I end.