stranger in my own life

do you ever feel like you are a stranger in your life? do you ever feel like nobody really knows you that well, or that they only know some portion of you, but the rest they just have no idea?
thinking about those things that one keep for ourselves... those things that make us strangers in our lifes...
like in those times when I felt that I could completely disappear and none would even realize that I was gone till they needed something only I knew where it was, and then, only then, they would realize I had been abscent for a while.
Conversations where I have nothing to add, where I don't even know what the topic is or how the story develops, sounds, the words suddenly become only sounds without a meaning.
Feels like an ocean, where I float, I desappear, I swim against the current, and when I get tired, I just close my eyes, and let the current take me.
I found out that I am not sick, that I will live, that life goes on.
I found that my life has no meaning without hoping for a future, that my life could somehow hurt my little ones, and that every one of those moments, or thoughts that I dedicated to myself were almost meaninless without the rest of the people that I share life with.
So, when I found that I am stranger in my own life, I can only remember to see the ocean as the place that it is, the place where we all swin, and at some point we all find each other, where sometimes we laugh, and we coincide, and then again, we may have to just float to continue in this life.