fear

Changes usually produce fear, though it is thought that changes are good, for changes help to maintain your brain young. It is funny how it brings back the memory of the pain in my knee. Knowing that using the injured leg would cause pain, and not wanting to suffer it, I unwillingly put all the effort into using it, even though there was this underlying knowledge that my body would try to compensate. It is just a natural reaction, we know in our head what needs to be done, but the rest of us just tries to shield, to protect it self from the pain that the adjustment to the change will cause.

I am afraid, I admitted. Don’t know why because my whole life I had had to adjust to changes, change of language, change of food, change of friends, change of jobs, change of culture, change of cities, change of medicine and change of life style.

I know change is good, but it does hurt and for that I remain fearful, cause at my age knowledge also becomes you, and we react to any change with the fear to the well-known effort that this will bring along.

So I’m back at trying to do things differently, trying to adjust to the changes that have been imposed by others and the ones that have been imposed by me, hoping that my brain will stay young, that my body will keep up the new rhythm and pretending that it does not hurt, cause the more you give yourself to the painful part, the more you resist the change.