what if...

sometimes there are moments, meetings, conversations, circumstances that bring me back to the very famous question what if....I wonder if the rest of the people wonder just as much as I tend to do when these sudden moments bring the question, or better yet make the dream come back... I am not so sure why, but I believe that once you touch "a perhaps", a "may be" a promise of a dream, you can never not wonder what if that would have come true. 
I then go to that movie that hunted me for years thinking about the choice the female made as she chose to stay with her family rather than chase a "may be" because she knew the dream would not longer be the dream if it was a reality with all the terrible ups and downs that the reality always brings, and I know that we choose what we do because in a small way we prefer to maintain that wonder, with all the incredible good, positive and perfect possibilities that can only happen in the wonder, in the dream. 
If we had gone there instead of living here... if we had let my children grow up closer to my family rather than letting them grow up in this culture, if I had never stayed here... actually I can even go as far as if I never even came. 
Once I read that people that reach their forties start to walk with the head facing backwards always wondering... or may be always trying  to stop time? 
no se puede vivir la vida del recuerdo, ni se puede vivir esperando o soñando un sueño imposible, como dijo Shakira en su canción; "no se puede vivir con tanto veneno, no se puede dedicar el alma a acumular intentos, pesa mas la rabia que el cemento." 
perseguimos y elegimos y los sueños que creímos fueron sueños, se convierten en nuestras realidades y las vivimos felices, o aveces no tanto, pero al fin y al cabo, son lo que elegimos. 
y cuando llegan otros sueños, otras posibilidades de futuros imaginarios con esos finales felices y perfectos que solo pueden vivir en el sueño, los convertimos en el famoso "what if..."y decidimos que el sueño habra que conservarlo como tal para que siga siendo eso, un sueño.
quien quiere la ilusión del sueño cuando el sueño se parece a nuestra realidad?