So
we continue to give ourselves the same explanation, we look in the same drawers
where we store all those feelings. We discover how easy is to fall again into
the patterns and how easy life can be if we just don’t fight the current. I
have stopped. And I say this without any regrets, I just finally stopped the
whining, no more I would like, no more oh I wish, no more looking back where
the story never was. This is the now, here I am with all my parts, almost
intact.
I
remember the wise words of my beloved friend who said “if there is no go on that
direction, why even go there?” Now I know what he meant. Fighting the
inevitable, forcing every step of the way because we insist on going where we
cannot go anymore. Almost like when we look back at the past, and there is no
way to end it in any way different, because it is already a chapter written and
closed.
I
will fight no more.
So
I let myself fall, and just as I imagine, it is like I float, I fall very
slowly and land in the soft bed of my knowledge of things, it is not at all a
free fall, it is more like a free float.
We
float and we touch each other, and we smile. This is the now, and we accept it,
we rediscover that warmth in the hand that we have been pushing away for the
longest time. We lean on that well known shoulder. And we feel safe.
